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My Life in the Ever-So-Dangerous Bordeaux Lac

Monday, April 21, 2014

When I tell people I live in Bordeaux Lac I kind of get this sympathetic, concerned look. I might as well tell them I live in a WWII zone swamped with land mines. That trip from Bordeaux Centre to Bordeaux Lac on Tram C might as well lead me to my grave.

Why it is the most dangerous place in Bordeaux:

1. The Lake
You know, a big lake can be quite the scary asset to your daily life. You might see a clan of sail boats, or even some kayakers up to no good. And the sunsets! Oh the sunsets. I start running when that sun goes down, because you never know when the Bordeaux Lac Ness Monster is going to come out to play.

2. The Neighborhood
Eco Quartier Ginko, the brand new complex of eco-friendly apartments is terrifying. They are barely even two years old, who knows what could happen one day when they come crumbling down. I don't even know how I survive without the constant city pollution and TREES near me! Dear lord help us residents.

3. The Fishermen
One word: BEWARE. They are the most dangerous of them all. You know what they say, 'watch out for the quiet ones.' Their peace, serenity, and happiness by the lake is a threat to all. But the fish? They're even worse, because they make you work for your food..how dare they.

4. The Beach
Wait, there's not only white people in Bordeaux? Run while you can! It's very international, and you might actually hear another language than French. Don't you dare bring a blanket and some friends either, because having fun at the beach can be horrible. You better book your 30 minute train ride to Arcachon now, because you will indeed die on the soft sand of Plage du Lac. 

5. The Picnickers
Don't get too close..they might beat you with their baguettes. Hungry people are the worst. And if they offer you a beer or some company head for the hills! If you happen to be around at lunch time you definitely shouldn't get any ideas, because the sunshine is too beautiful to bare. 

6. The Runners
I saved this one for last because they are the most dangerous part of Bordeaux Lac. They run around the lake sometimes more than once, it goes on all day long. There's even a chance they exercise on the workout equipment at the lake too. They're so hyped-up on endorphins that they might just say hi to you even if they don't know you! 

So there you have it. You should not visit this place, don't book a hotel near here, don't give it a second thought, DO NOT GO. I hope I make it out alive.

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